Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug

Is there anyone that has gone through life without encountering the dreaded bully? Most likely not, but if so - feel free to comment about it (or anything).

Unfortunately, Micah encountered some bullying last week during recess. At least that is my motherly opinion. (I have gotten other opinions that what occurred could not be classified as bullying.) Micah likes to play basketball at recess and there is only one goal. Unfortunately another 3rd grader that enjoys playing basketball, does not like for Micah to join in. Therefore he has told Micah that he cannot play. A few times. It has hurt my boy's feelings.

And yet, I can't understand it. In my 35 year old mind I wonder, 'why does he listen to this kid?' However, my 9 year old mind probably would have not been so bold. He most likely inherited his meekness from me. (Don't laugh! I AM meek.)

Later, on Sunday night, Chase complained to me about his back hurting. Apparently one of his friends at church knocked him down. Oh yeah, after choking him. Last week this friend made bruises on Chase's arm. The thing is, this kid genuinely likes Chase. I think he's just a roughhouser. But Chase complained and whined about how much his friend hurt him.

I suppose I just sort of snapped. I asked him why he put up with it if it hurt so much. I said, "If it were me, I would tell him, 'Friend, either take your hands off of me or I will knock your lights out.' And then, if he didn't take his hands off of me, I would knock his lights out." Chase giggled, but Micah was appalled: "At CHURCH?!?" he asked. (Parental disclaimer: I don't really think Chase has this in him. Furthermore, Paul told me it was really bad advice.)

But I didn't stop there. "And, Micah! Why on earth do you let other kids tell you what you can and can't do? If I wanted to play basketball and some kid said I can't, I would ask him, 'who made you the boss of the basketball court?' And I'd play anyway!" Like I said, there was a definite snapping point. Micah liked it, though. He and Chase thought Mommy was being extra funny. The Big, Bad Mommy. I guess they've heard 8 or 9 years of "Play nice" and "be respectful" and "Staggs' aren't rude." So this was kind of a shock.

Anyway, hopefully it worked. Micah reported that he played basketball today, even after the "bully" said he couldn't. Eventually, the other kids just included him on their team. He was nicer about it, though. He said when the other kid told him to move somewhere else, Micah's answer was, "No, thanks." I like that. Polite but firm. That's my boy.

Who knows what the future of recess brings? And for that matter if my friend from church will wonder why I suggested that my son knock her son's lights out.

Hurry, hurry!

OK, I'll admit it. I got a speeding ticket last Saturday. I thought I had time to bring Chase home from Micah's basketball game, feed him lunch and get him to baseball practice in plenty of time. I was so wrong.

On the way to baseball practice, a lady pulled out in front of me on Main Street and since she was going slow and I was in a hurry, I thought I could speed up and get around her. Bad idea. Mr. Policeman was coming from the other direction and when he passed us, I glanced in my rearview mirror and, yup, he did a u-ey. He pulled over the other car AND me (I guess she wasn't going so slow, after all).

Sitting in the parking lot of a local restaurant, I hand over my driver's license and proof of insurance. Mr. Policeman asks where I'm going in such a hurry. It sure does sound silly to admit that I'm running late for my son's baseball practice. Mr. Policeman asks if my son is in the car with me. Yes, he is, I answer. Mr. Policeman sticks his head in the driver's side window to peer into the back seat. There sits Chase, grossly absorbed into his Nintendo DS. That child did not even glance up! Mr. Policeman heads back to his cruiser to write up my ticket. Yippee.

About 6 or 7 minutes pass, and Chase looks up to see that, for some reason, we are sitting in a restaurant parking lot. He also notices that it is 2:58 and baseball practice, he knows, is supposed to start at 3:00. "Mommy! We have to be at baseball at 3:00" he says. "Well, we're not going to make it" I reply. "What are we waiting for?" Chase asks. "Oh, we're justing waiting for Mommy to get her speeding ticket" was my answer. "Oh. Okay." Chase responds.

I declare - you could practically jump up and down on that boy and if he is playing his Nintendo DS, I don't think he'd notice.

Oh well. At least it wasn't Micah with me. I don't think I could have handled all the preaching I would have gotten from the backseat.

Yaaawwwwn. . .

We hit a milestone this weekend. Micah had his very first (non-family) sleepover. His basketball coach invited the team to his home for a s'mores-making, movie-watching all-nighter. Needless to say, I pulled my very own all-nighter, mom-style, complete with worrying, what-iffing, and praying.

Before I left him, I perused the movies slated for their enjoyment and they were all sports-related, motivational films. All were G and PG except for one PG-13. I was feeling pretty comfortable with that, kind of hoping that they would bypass the PG-13 one. Guess which one they watched first.

Micah reports that he did not sleep at all, except for maybe 4 minutes. But when Paul arrived to pick Micah up, Micah and the rest of the boys were still asleep (of course, I sent Paul to pick him up at 7:00 a.m.).

He says he had a blast, so I'm glad he went (yawn). Even if he is surlier than usual (yawn).


Responsibility update: Micah has now gone 3 entire weeks without forgetting a single school assignment earning a family bowling trip. Whenever we can fit that in, between basketball and baseball weekends.

May the force be with you

I'm sure everyone knows by now that Chase had just the most horrible week. Yes, we did take a trip to the ER very early Sunday morning, and by "Sunday morning," what I really mean is the middle of the night. Driving through the ghetto was particularly interesting. (Really, can't Cincinnati do something about that? All of our hospitals are located right in the heart of gang-domain. And there I was in my black Suburban, probably the most preferred vehicle of gangbangers, just praying there was enough light to see all the mud caked on the sides of my car. "Hello! Not a rival, here! Just a woman that really needs a vehicle with 4-wheel drive!" Anyway . . .).

But the whole week was pretty bad. He'd have these terrible asthma attacks followed by moments where he just wanted to run and play. Wednesday night he was up most of the night coughing and having difficulty breathing. Therefore I decided that he would not have to attend school on Thursday. He seemed comforted by that.

Thursday morning (as I was preparing to take Micah to school) Darth Vader comes running through the house, wielding his light saber. Then Darth begins to attempt to engage Micah in a battle.

Are you kidding me?

"If you are well enough to be Darth Vader, then you are well enough for school!" (me)

"Well, I didn't know that!" (Chase)

Seriously, do I need to write these rules down somewhere?

Monster Jam Spectacular

Today the boys created monster trucks and held a Monster Jam. Top photo: Chase's creation set in a wall of fire (notice the smoke pluming out behind). Bottom photo: Micah's creation in an arena (notice the crowds of people in attendance).

If the carrot was in your ear, then don't eat it

As the words left my mouth, I was struck with wonderment. Who ever says things like that? Who ever has the opportunity to?

Moms do, apparently.


Ok, now for the Micah update:
He earned a small LEGO set!! Yep, an entire week went by without forgetting one single school assignment. I am so proud. Of course, now we are dealing with Micah's reasoning that he should be able to earn a new LEGO set a week. (Um, yeah, we need to stretch it out to a month-long project, now.)

Apples of my eye

"Ah, the sweet smell of apple, I haven't tasted you in so long." - Chase Staggs (2/6/09)

Updates:

I've met with Micah's teacher and the gifted coordinator about Micah's responsibility issues. We have new tools in place: a checklist next to the door and a goal of one week of turning everything in. We'll see how next week goes (cross your fingers). He's excited about it. We've turned it into a science experiment, per the advice of his GC. We are monitoring how it goes a week at a time and if it doesn't, then we try something new. We will compare notes to decide which methods work best. Micah is the ultimate decision maker. Reaching goals = prize of Micah's choosing (within reason).

Chase was the author of "The New Bully in Town." Starbucks gift cards coming soon.